A bruised ego and hammered pride was how I felt after this whole few months duration saga with my online "girlfriend". Totally felt lousy about myself, espacially when my mum occasionally pokes fun at me for this silly blunder I made. To me, it was like a dream dashed and hope all lost... just when I thought I could be like Prince Charming riding on a white horse coming in to save my beautiful maiden in distress, I was wrong. My "maiden" turned out to be a man instead! Yicks!!!
Painful but important lesson learnt. Thankfully I didn't get robbed, cheated or assaulted. Since then, I stayed clear of all internet chatrooms, not wanting to commit the same mistakes again... It will forever be a last impression imprinted in me.
15 years down the road and here I am... Being a Cyber Wellness Ambassador, going to schools to teach youths the dangers of cyber space and how to handle them. That's where my online girlfriend story comes in handy!
Thank you everyone for sharing the fun and laughters with me as I shared this experience through my blog. Hope you guys learnt something precious too!
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10:20am. I had arrived early. I sat at the see-saw, watching the little children around me jumping around the playground as I eagerly anticipate the girl of my dreams to appear really soon. The only anti-climax was seeing my mum hiding behind the pillar at a nearby block, eyes fixed on me like the FBI.
I paced myself across the playground, left hand gripping tightly on the $50 note which is used to save my girlfriend, right hand busy wiping the sweat off my forehead constantly. It was a cool morning, but somehow the excitement and anticipation of meeting her just makes me perspire profusely! Tick tock tick tock.... those 10 minutes felt like 10 months man!
How would she look like? Long hair? Short hair? Spectacles? Tall? Short? What's the first thing I should say when I meet her? ... These were some of the many questions fluttering through my mind then.... DREAM GIRL HERE I COME TO SAVE YOU!!!
Just when I was engrossed with questions and picturing of me as a knight in shining armour saving the damsel in distress, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I froze on the spot and I gulped.... This was it! I am one turn away from meeting my girlfriend! Using one second to adjust my already neat "curry-pok" well gelled hair fringe, I turned around and.......
ARGH!!! To my shock, it was a middle age guy! And he immediately asked me.. "Are you EeJay?". For a good 10 seconds, I was dumbfounded without an answer to him. A tsunami wave of shock, disappointment, anger, humiliation overflowed me. Getting hold of whatever was left in me, I replied "NO!" and quickly turned my back and walked off towards the block where my mum was hiding. Adding salt to the wound, my Mum was sniggering and gave me a weird smile when she saw me approaching... :(
I was just very sad. My girlfriend has just become a boyfriend! My dream has become a nightmare! My past months of time and effort investment in this online relationship felt like being flushed down the toilet bowl! It was a humiliating experience for me.. to think that I had actually committed my emotions and fought so hard to defend "her"... all along, the "her" was actually a HIM!
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Immediately my mum lashed back at me... "YOU SIAO AH!!!!" ... and she stormed off into the kitchen ignoring me. I sulked, I was grumpy and upset. For then on, it was the beginning of a cold war with my mum, refusing to talk to her.
Hours went by feeling like days... Days went by feeling like months.... and months went by feeling like years. Time seemingly went by very slowly and I felt really torn apart. On one hand, my online girlfriend keep sharing with me about how she was starving away and on the other hand, my mum refuse to relent in lending me the money. On my side, I felt quite guilty and useless that I couldn't protect my girlfriend.
A month after my first attempt to seek help from my mum, I decided to eat the humble pie and approach my mum for help again. Sheepishly, I walked behind my mum while she was preparing dinner in the kitchen... "Mum, I'm sorry for being angry and not talking to you. But I really want to help my friend. Can you please lend me $50 to help her? I am helping you to do good too..."
There was a long long pause after that which felt like eternity. Then my mum replied.. "Ok. I will lend you the money. Go arrange a time with your friend. I will go with you. But don't tell her I am coming. I just want to make sure you are safe."
Wiiiiii!!!! I was estatic upon hearing what she said that I immediately rushed back to my computer to break the good news to my girlfriend. We fixed up the time and location to meet. It was to be 10:30am, Saturday morning, at the playground two blocks away from my house.
That Saturday morning was especially significant for me. Not only was I able to help someone, but this would be the first time I get to meet my online girlfriend! My heart was thumping really fast as I made my way to the playground.
10:20am. I had arrived early. I sat at the see-saw, watching the little children around me jumping around the playground as I eagerly anticipate the girl of my dreams to appear really soon. The only anti-climax was seeing my mum hiding behind the pillar at a nearby block, eyes fixed on me like the FBI.... (to be continued)
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In the 3rd month of our online relationship, she suddenly pop me with this question.. "Hey dear, I would like to meet up with you and also borrow $50 from you. Because right now my father has lost his job and I don't have any allowance. Everyday I only each one meal because I don't have enough money. Can lend? I need your help badly dear..."
A sense of sympathy overwhelmed me as I was griefed and burdened in my heart together with her about her family situation. Out of a righteous heart, driven by wanting to be a good and responsible boyfriend in taking care of my girlfriend, I replied her.. "Ok dear, I help you. But I don't have $50. Need to borrow from my mother. I ask her first."
I felt really good and proud about myself for standing up and protecting my girlfriend. Looking back, guess it probably is some guy-ego thingy.. Well, guys always feel good when they get to be the hero and save the damsel in distress! :P
My attempt at my mum in borrowing money from her was shut off. She asked why I needed the money and I didn't want to reveal it, fearing that I would get scolded. Each night my girlfriend would share with me how much weight she lost due to the meals she skipped, how she has no money to buy textbooks and stationaries...etc Yet on the other hand, my mum refuse to relent to my many requests to borrow the money.
Until one day I decided to go for brokes... I couldn't stand it anymore "hearing" my girlfriend suffering and I couldn't do anything about it. I went up to my mum one day and told her.. "Mum, actually I need the money from you to help this friend I knew from Internet. She's a good friend and we have been chatting for many months. I am sure she can be trusted. You always teach us to be a good person right? Now I am being a good person by helping someone in need. Can lend me $50???"
Immediately my mum lashed back at me... "YOU SIAO AH!!!!" (to be continued)
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Did I manage to get hold of the money from my mother? Will I get to meet my online girlfriend and save her from poverty? Stay tuned for the next episode on "My Online Girlfriend" series... coming to you shortly.
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Silly as this may sound, one day I decided to pop her the question on the IRC... "Do you want to be my stead?". After 10 seconds, which felt like eternity, she answered... "Sure! Ok!"
My heart stopped for a beat at that moment when I saw that reply on the screen. I jumped off my seat with my fist punching the air shouting "YES!" Oh my gosh, you have no idea how happy I was then... my heart was beating so fast like a wild horse running around unable to be contained! Finally someone agrees to be my girlfriend! Wii!!!!
Calming myself down before going back to the keyboard and continuing the conversation with her, I decided to push one step further. I typed in my next sentence in the IRC chatbox.. "Thank you DEAR for saying ok to be my stead!". Though the thought of saying this sentence out just sends me into goosepimples, I had no reservations nor qualms about typing such lovey dovey words to my new found online girlfriend.. I felt it was the right thing to say to my girlfriend!
We continued keeping in contact in the next 2 months... constantly sharing out thoughts, feelings, sharing out cares and woes. When she was feeling down, I would show her alot of affection online. My most famous poem was "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I love you like a sweet Buah Chi Ku!" However, through this period, we never asked for each others' photo. Somehow within me, I just feel there wasn't this need because of the trust we have established over the months. My mind was telling me... Love can conquer everything!
In the 3rd month of our online relationship, she suddenly pop me with this question.. "Hey dear, I would like to meet up with you and also.......... (to be continued)
PS: My famous poem is copyrighted. Please seek permission from me before you use. Keke.. :P
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I.R.C? I.C.Q? Does these two terms ring any bells in you? Well, congratulations! If you know what they represent, high chance you belong to my era or so as to say, dynasty. And if you do not understand these terms, don't be despondent, because you belong to Generation-Y that dabbles around with more familiar terms such as MSN, IMVU, MapleStory, W.O.W....etc.
Well, when I was in my secondary school days, I heard so much from my friends about IRC (also known as Internet Relay Chat) that I decided to give it a try and have a feel of it. It wasn't before long that I was into the matrix world of IRC and busy chatting along with online strangers. Totally unregulated, everyone could speak anything they liked. Vulgarities, casual conversations and even cybersex dominated these chatrooms.
I started out on a journey of exploration of this new virtual community. I ended up making alot of new friends just from hours of punching away at the keyboard with my eyes glued to the screen for hours. From making bundles of online friends, I got to know one of them better and that sparked everything off.....
We started chatting daily for a hour, getting to know each other. Name, age, school, address, family background, hobbies.... we shared it all. That was only the first week we knew each other online. By the second week, we were sharing about our past i.e. how many boyfriends / girlfriends we had before, the kind of boys / girls we liked, and even what we hope to see in our future boyfriend / girlfriend. From one hour daily, we progressed to three hours daily and this online friendship went on for 3 months.
I enjoyed this online friendship. I felt I could really share my heart out with this friend and she understands how I feel. I also enjoy hearing her share her thoughts and could sympathize with the things she goes through. somehow this thought came to my mind, "Gosh! We seem to be made for each other! 天生一对龙凤配！"
Silly as this may sound, one day I decided to pop her the question on the IRC... "Do you want to be my stead?". After 10 seconds, which felt like eternity, she answered....... (To be continued.......)
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