Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

In my Junior College days, I was one of the top Ten-Pin bowler chalking an average of 200 PPG (points-per-game). I trained hard and my dream was to one day win an Open competition and be part of the Singapore National Bowling Team.

In the first year of my National Service, I crack-fractured my right wrist (my master hand) during the Standard Obstacle Course (SOC) test. I went through 1 year of physiotherapy and rehab, but never able to carry heavy stuff using my right hand again. I was downgraded to PES C1L2 and I was never able to take part in competitive bowling again. [Reality strikes and my world just collaspe around me... it's a lousy feeling.]

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In my university days, I was an avid sportsman. I played soccer, basketball, soccer, squash and almost any ball games. In January 2006 during my Masters' studies, I had a freak accident on a rainy day. I slipped, fell and sprained my right ankle (my master foot)really badly. I was out of sports action for almost 6 months, unable to do even light jogging. [I felt really lousy about myself.]

During the 6 months, I went through intensive rehab and physiotherapy (up to 2-3 times a week, sweating like a madman at every physio session!). In November - December 2006, I took part in a 100KM walkathon, climbed the 72-storey Vertical Marathon @ Swissotel and completed the 42KM Singapore Marathon.

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During my Masters' studies in Bioengineering (2004 - 2006), I was required to take Biology subjects, understand Biology concepts and theories, write reports and do up presentations on them. These were a major challenge for me as I have never ever taken Biology before in my life!

I mugged, studied, burned midnight oil studying and preparing for every single homework, test, exams and presentation. This is on top of being a cell leader and serving in church.

In end-2007, I was conferred my Masters' Degree in Engineering. Together with it, I had three conference presentations, two journal papers, and one patent application to my name. I just collected my Masters' Degree graduation certificate this week. *All Smiles*

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Success in life doesn't mean having a glamourous lifestyle, great achievements, nor popular and accepted by people. All these are good and important things in life. BUT... Is that how you really would define Success?

To me, the A-B-C guide to Success is:

1. Able to star at every challenges that comes in life and see the opportunity for growth.
2. Being able to bounce back from defeats and failures in life - having a never-say-die attitude.
3. Choosing not to compare and envy the people around you, but follow your principles, values and convictions of life.

Being a Christian, this is where I get my source of inspiration from:

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves. - Psalm 127:1-2 (NIV)

Read more on this article...

Take a good look at this... For the past two years at work, I have been sitting on this distorted chair:

Read more on this article...

Did I manage to catch you attention with the headlines? Haha... I was sharing with some student through my Cyber Wellness lessons that in blogging, one of the ways to catch peoples' attention to read your blog further would be using a shocking headline.

Well, I didn't literally experience near death like an accident or what at Bedok Reservoir. It was just that I was almost out of breath by the time I reached Bedok Reservoir during my marathon training run on Monday. *duh*

Check out my marathon training till date. I clocked in 11KM on Monday! *Yay!!*

This was the furthest distance ran till date for me. But what was disappointing was that I really took a much longer time. I had set a target of 1 hour 15 min, but ended up in 1 hour 30 min! A couple of probable reasons as I sat down to reflect after the run:

1. There was no push factor. I was running by myself without anyone alongside to spur and encourage me on. Thus, naturally there wasn't any urgency to push to run faster or even maintain consistent speed. I ended up running slower and slower.....

2. I tried a new route and wasn't mentally prepared. I changed my mind halfway through the run and opted for a new route. I couldn't visualize what was ahead and soon I really regretted embarking on this untried journey. When the dreaded feeling sets in, I also lost the momentum and desire to run. I just felt like stopping to walk my way home. But with every last ounce of my willpower, I literally dragged myself through and forbid myself to walk. It was really a battlefield in the mind.

My 20 Cents worth of Thoughts:

Interestingly, isn't that much about how our daily living is as well?

We all need a friend alongside us to spur and encourage us on. Especially when we are going through tough times, it really means a lot to have someone stand by you cheering, encouraging and motivating you on.

Many times when the odds are stacked against us, we really really feel like throwing in the towel. Our spirit may be willing, but the flesh is weak. Someone may be blowing smoke from a cigarette in your face tempting you to try smoking, and if you don't, he taunts you for being a cowardly chicken. Do you give in?

Trust me guys and girls, many time you have to exercise your willpower in making decisions and not allow your feelings get in the way. If you strongly believe in the values and principles that were taught to you by your parents and teachers, then will yourselves to follow it. Do not just blindly follow your feelings and end up walking the road of regrets. Read more on this article...

Article from TODAY, 13th September 2008

Many of you would have heard the news by now: Lance Armstrong, the 7-times Tour de France champion whom retired 3 years ago, is back in the professional cycling scene and attempts to challenge for his 8th Tour de France title next year!

Now, what makes this "resurrection" from retirement evermore so impressive and inspiring was the fact that Lance Armstrong is a cancer survivor. Having started out his pro-cycling term on the Tour de France in 1993, he was getting better in his performance by the year and many would have expected him to win the Tour de France in 1996. However, that was when disaster struck - Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer, and (listen to this) the cancerous cells had already spread to his lungs, brain and abdomen! Doctors have listed that Lance's chances of survivor was just a mere 40%.

Pause. How would you have reacted under such circumstances if you were Lance Armstrong? Honestly for me, I would be totally devastated and lost hope on everything in life! Or probably I would give up on cycling, stay home to sulk and complain that life is just seemingly so unfair.

Story continues. But that was not the response from Lance Armstrong. He spent the next two years undergoing intensive regiments of chemotherapy, brain surgery to remove the tumors and even an orchiectomy to remove the diseased testicle (ouch!).

Lance Armstrong's death-defying comeback to the cycling scene began in 1998 on a local competition where he came in 4th. Then in 1999, he won his first Tour de France, leaving the second place cyclist breathing in his tracks of dust by a hefty 7 min 37 seconds! Tremendous accomplishment for a guy whom just a year ago was battling surgeries, rehabilitations and threaded along the brink of death! This road win in 1999 marked the first of the next 6 Tour de France win that was to come. Between 1999 - 2005, Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de France titled in total, achieving 22 individual stage wins and 11 time trials!

There has been much commotion since the public announcement about why Lance Armstrong wants to come out from retirement. Was it for the money? Was it just another commercially viable publicity stunt? What's Lance Armstrong trying to prove here?

Frankly speaking, it doesn't really matter whether Lance Armstrong wins another Tour de France title or not. Just by looking at his illustrious and adversary-denying track history, I am already inspired by his never-say-die attitude. Whatever the circumstances of life, this guy just refuse to take it lying down and rises up to challenge the odds.

I like what the article above mentioned about Lance Armstong: "He's prepared for the mother of all comebacks, because Armstrong the cancer survivor is all about how men and women can overcome great odds, to reach the mountain top."

May you be inspired by Lance Armstrong's testimony. Irregardless of the odds that may be stacked against us in life, we can choose to rise up and fight on! You can be a 'Lance Armstrong' in every way.

Glossary:

(1) The Tour de France is the world's best-known bicycle race. Started in 1903 and run every year excluding the world wars, it is nowadays a 23-day, 21-stage road race usually covering more than 3,500 kilometres (2,200 mi).

(2) Castration (also referred to as: gelding, neutering, fixing, orchiectomy, and orchidectomy) is any action, surgical, chemical, or otherwise, by which a male loses the functions of the testes. In common usage the term is usually applied to males, although as a medical term it is applied to both males and females. Read more on this article...

For me on the cloudy Saturday morning yesterday, I was just a mere 0.81s slower than Usain Bolt....... BUT ....... the difference is that I clocked the timing of 10.5s over 40 meters in my IPPT and Usain Bolt ran 100 meters!

Can you imagine that!?!? For many of us, the timing we take to run our IPPT or NAFTA shuttle run, we are still at least one second slower than Usain Bolt! Means that while we are still huffing and puffing trying to catch our breath, Mr Lightning Bolt has already finished his race and already into his celebration laps already! Shocking statistics isn't it?

Anyway, that was just the appetizer. The main course is updating everyone about my yearly IPPT which I took yesterday. My results are as follow:

Station #1: Sit-Up - 38 (Argh! Short of one to get 5 points!)

Station #2: Shuttle Run - 10.5s (Disappointing. I clocked 9.9s a year ago)

Station #3: Chin-Up - Excused because of my wrist injury

Station #4: Standing Broad Jump - 216cm (Phew! My weakest station. Just happy to clear that!)

Station #5: 2.4km Run - 12min 27s (I'm glad I survived through 6 boring laps round the tracks!)

Honestly, I was quite upset with my results, especially for the sit-up and shuttle run stations. I could have done much better on those scores. All it took was a split second of lost concentration and everything went downhill from there.

When I started out at the Sit-Up station, I was 1-for-1 (1 sit-up every second) for the first twenty seconds. And typically for me when doing sit-ups, I would take huge breathe and slowly exhale through the 60 seconds without taking a second breathe. This helps me to keep the momentum going and hitting 40 sit-ups would be a piece of cake. However this time round things took a different turn. Suddenly there was a shout from behind from one of the PT instructors, "Ah Ah Ah... Cup your ears ah!!" . I lost focus for that split second an exhaled my breathe of air and started frantically inhaling a new breathe. That broke my momentum and I almost had abdomen cramps! I struggled for the remaining 40 seconds, only managing 18 more sit-ups. It felt digusting knowing that I missed the top mark in this station just by one sit-up!

Ironically, I left the Sit-up station unable to sit up properly because of the abdomen cramp. Time constraint, so I went ahead to the shuttle run station. Bending up and down to touch the sensor, combined with the twisting and turning was really tough with the abdomen strain, so I came in from the shuttle run clocking a pathetic 10.5s.

At that point, I felt really yucky and thinking that I had another 2.4km race ahead, I really had no mood for it. I feel like walking out. But the thought of going for RT (Remedial Training) puts me off and I decided to give it my best shot for the last station.

At the flag off of the 2.4 run, I was thinking to myself that all I needed to do was to clock 2.00 minutes flat per round and I will be safe for a pass at 12:00 minutes. (the passing mark for my age group is 12:40)

Looking and feeling good after the 1st lap. (1 minute 53 seconds)

It's getting bored in the 2nd lap but still ok. (3 minutes 57 seconds)

My legs are feeling the cramps in 3rd lap. (6 minutes 05 seconds)

I really really feel like stopping and walk for the rest of the run after 4 laps. (8 minutes 15 seconds)

Everyone seems to be overtaking be in this 5th lap. I am grimacing from stitches. (10 minutes 20 seconds)

Gosh! I was getting slower by the laps and am flirting with failure and possible RT if I still continue to run at this turtle pace! NO! I didn't come this far to fail and go for RT... This cannot be! Mustering up all the remaining energy I could find within my legs, I opened up my stride wider and pushed through the last 400 meters.

I closed my eyes at the last 10 meters as I crossed the electronic barrier end point. Upon hearing the beep signal, I opened my eyes and looked at the score board.... 12 minutes 27 seconds..... I PASSED!!!

I left the camp a happy man. I may not have clocked the best possible performance, but I am glad that I bounced back from the initial shocker, cramps and yucky feeling to pass this IPPT. IPPT... Till we meet again next year! Kudos!

Lesson learnt: Indeed, a lot of things is in the mind. 99% of our defeats in life come because we caved-in in our minds first. We lost concentration, lost the will to fightand gave up easily and sometimes even before the battle begins! Life is never always smooth sailing. What counts is when we remain focused and will ourselves to rise up and conquer the next hurdle ahead!

Source:
(1) Usain Bolt photo from http://www.huffingtonpost.com
(2) IPPT station photos from http://www.mindef.gov.sg

Disclaimer: I have no anger nor grievances against the PT instructor whom shouted at me at the sit-up station. He was just doing what he needs to do. =) Read more on this article...

Enough is enough. Been there and done that, it's time to take a break and try something new next time round. Those were my exact words after having ran two marathons in 2005 and 2006. And guess what? This year I am back again and have signed up for the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2008!!

"Siao ah?!?! Are you addicted to running marathon or what? Haven't you had enough of it? Aren't you afraid of getting injured again like how you did the previous times?"

Yes, these questions which many have asked me have been in my mind when I signed up for this gruelling 42km run. Honestly, I was really hoping I could go for a year-end overseas vacation to give myself a well-deserved break. And putting myself through 42km of pain and toil was the last thing on my mind.

So why did I sign up for the marathon anyway?!?!?!

"I WANT I CAN!" That's the motivation for me running the marathon this year. And I am running this marathon for the youths that I mentor, as a display of living out what I have always believe in - Nothing is impossible. Do not allow negativity or excuses saying that 'I can't' come in the way when we face challenges in life. If we set our hearts to do what is right and be determined to follow through, whatever we want, we can achieve it!

Join me along as I embark on this enduring journey once again. May you be inspired and catch that same persevering spirit as well! Gambatte! Woosh! Read more on this article...

[Disclaimer: This post has been rated PG by the author. In any case if you are stumbled, responsibility will not be borne by the author]

... (Continued from previous post)... Do you think I still struggle with watching Internet Pornography since that day? Well honestly, I still struggled for a good whole two years before I entirely broke free from the chains of Internet Pornography. However during those two years, it wasn't easy and there were many relapses along the way.

Sometimes I stayed free for almost an entire month, only to fall back again because of a moment of folly and dabbling 5 minutes longer on the Internet which extended to an additional hour of pornographic website surfing.

But during those two years, there were some important steps which I learnt and took that kept me on track and not give up in this battle.

1. I kept myself strictly accountable to my parents and also a trustworthy group of friends. Now, you must be thinking that I am crazy by being so harsh on myself. But truth is this, that was how badly I wanted to get out of this addiction. Till a point I wasn't afraid of 'losing face' by confessing to people around me whom I felt could help me. Looking back, this step was really important because constantly there were people whom would spot check on me and even when I had relapse, they would encourage and help me rather than condemn me.

2. I shifted my computer into the living room. Trust me.. even when I felt tempted to watch pornography, there was no way I could do it with my parents watching primetime Channel 8 drama series behind me!

3. I threw away almost $100 worth of FHM magazines. Gosh, these were like my 'precious' collection bought with my savings. But yet I also knew that these were like little temptations which would drive me towards watching pornography. So I decided to take the extreme measure of tearing them apart and throwing them down the rubbish chute!

4. I also decided to rejoin my group friends whom played soccer daily after school and on Saturdays as well. I made effort to visit my grandparents on Sundays with my parents as well. All these real life activities helped me to keep my mind away from doing my own "research" projects on the Internet. Exercising also helps to relieve myself from the sudden rush of urge and desire to go on the Internet.

5. I NEVER gave up trying! Basically I came to a point of understanding that pornography has a serious impact on me and my future. I really want to have a healthy mindset of sex and sexuality rather than be distorted by what is shown in all those perverse websites which shows human beings behaving like animals! I don't want to be like an animal! ARGH!!!

Many of you as you read my testimony of overcoming Internet pornography may feel that certain steps that I took were really extreme and that you may not be able to do it. Trust me.. you can, but you can't do it on your own. Learn to put down your pride and humble yourself to ask for help from close, good people around you. They can be your parents, your teachers, church leaders or pastors. Raise your hands and seek for help.

3 Basic Tips to share and encourage all of us:

Desire - Having understand the consequence of pornography. You need to desire that you want to break free from it. It all boils down to how badly you want to get out of it.

Decision - You have to come to a point of making a firm stand that no matter how hard it will be, you decide you want to change. Do not procrastinate on your decision. Do not look back at the decision you made.

Determination - It will not be easy along the way. There will be times where you may relapse and fall back. Or tempting obstacles that will entice you to go back the old ways. Be very determined. Determine from the very beginning that you do not want to slide back the old ways again!

PS: Till date, I have been "Porn-Free" for the past 5 years. If I can do it, so can you! Read more on this article...

15 years old, Bubble Tea was largely unheard of in Singapore. A typical teenager's favorite drink would still have to be Coca-Cola, F&N Fanta Grape or Ice Cream Soda. However, today when you walk along the streets almost anywhere, you would be able to see most teenage school students holding a cup of Bubble Tea in their hands! And not to mention that the price of a cup of bubble tea is even cheaper than any canned or bottled soda drink!

What actually happened? Who actually sparked forth a chain reaction that redefined the youth culture of Singapore (or even globally)? What actually happened that resulted in a transformation of culture - From Coke to Bubble Tea?!?!

Well honestly, I don't really know. I never really did trace back the history of bubble tea (Hmm.. maybe if you are keen, you can do a Wikipedia search on it and share info with me? Hehe... ). I only know it originated from Taiwan. But I am certain that it has got to begun with one man's crazy idea to bring Bubble Tea from Taiwan into Singapore. He probably would not have imagine that the simple little step of bringing a drink over would soon result in a teenage revolution that took the world by storm!

Can you see what I am trying to highlight here?..... Redefining Culture all started with One Man!!!

Is there a culture around which you would hope to change and make it better?

Alright, I know it is still rather far-fetched if we talk about us being that 'One Man' to redefining a world culture. But how about beginning on a simpler and smaller front of your world at Home? Or even at School or your workplace?

You may be facing alot of challenges in your workplace, home and school. You just don't like things the way it is and wish that the culture of the place can be improve. Maybe it is the way people speak to one another that could be more affirming and encouraging. Maybe it is hoping for a culture where everyone in the family readily stands out to help and support one another instead of giving excuses.

Whatever the problem is, stop focusing on the problems and start stepping out to redefine the culture ourselves! Yes.. Redefining Culture begins with ourselves! We got to be like a sore thumb sticking out doing things that no one does. That how people will notice us and that's how people will catch and follow what we are doing. That's how culture is sparked and redefined!

Many people might have scoffed and scruffled at the idea of Bubble Tea when it first burst forth onto the scene back 10 years ago in Singapore. Many would just term it as "High Class Tea". But soon, more people tried and more people liked it, and soon? the rest is history.

Brave yourself for a new world ahead! Be a Trend Setter and Culture Transformer!

PS: I occasionally like to drink Bubble Tea too. Ice milk tea with jelly (not pearl!) if you would like to give me a treat.

Note: This post is specially dedicated to my spiritual daughter Joadine. Thank you for introducing Daddy to bubble tea! Haha... Read more on this article...

During my JC days, I joined the Track & Field team purely out to experience something new. Having a good sense of my incredible hulk physique then, I knew that I could never make it to the Track events, so I rather be smart and opted for the Field events instead. I tried my hands at shot put, discus and javelin, but I still love discus the best. It's just so cool to see the discus slice through the air and soaring the distance.

Honestly, I wasn't a natural talent at discus throwing. During the first two weeks tumbled through the air like a rubber chicken. It was only two weeks later that I first saw my discus glide out of the cage landing at 10 metres. My coach came over to congratulate, "Well done! Now it's time to change to the guy's discus. You've always been using the girl's one for training!"

Training was really tough. I left each training with sore arms and back, and with blisters on my finger tips from gripping the discus. I really felt like giving up then, somehow all these pain wasn't really worth it. Maybe I should just go back to playing recreational soccer which I am comfortable with.

But something in my mind told me that I shouldn't quit. I'm not a quitter! Gritting my teeth, I stayed on and persevered through every training session. I also figured that I wasn't going to improve on my distance if I only trained twice a week. So I decided to do my own extra training daily after school for 2 hours. By then, I was so used to the blisters on my finger that they got harden. I was so used to pain and aches that I grew numb to them as well. But I never once complained nor had any thoughts about giving up again. Toying myself with complains only made me lose focus and tired mentally easily.

After 6 months of such intensive training, the grand payoff came when I took part in the school's annual sports meet and subsequently the National Schools' Track & Field competition. I came in 3rd for the school's sports meet and nearly made it to the second round in the Nationals. Both event my discus recorded a personal best of about 39 meters! Hey.. not bad for someone who only took up the sport less than a year!

Are you going through a particularly tough season in your life right now where you just feel like giving up? Are there emotional pains that you have suffered which cuts so deep that I just don't want to give and serve anymore?

My encouragement for you is to take this as a training season for your soul, as part of character development. Don't flirt with complains nor entertain the discouraging thought. Take on every challenge as an opportunity for growth and strengthening. Read more on this article...

[Disclaimer: This post has been rated PG by the author. In any case if you are stumbled, responsibility will not be borne by the author]

... (Continued from previous post)... Since that day of confession, a cold war broke out between me and my parents. We never talked and I could sense the tinge of disgust and disappointment at home with my parents. And this hopeless situation lingered on for almost a month, until one day when my parents asked me this question... "Are you very sure about kicking this sickening addiction?"

"YES! YES! I really need help! I am so sick and tired of falling in and out of this issue! I need help! Please do anything to help me!"

With tears welling in my eyes, my parents were truly convinced that I was really serious about getting rid of my lustful dirty little habit.

"Ok, we believe you. From now on, you must follow the rules that we set out for you.

Number 1: Move your computer into the living room.

Number 2: You can only use the computer when we are at home.

Number 3: You must allow us to conduct spotchecks on you when you are alone at home.

If you are serious about kicking the habit, do you agree to these rules?"

Honestly, for a good whole 10 seconds, I was dumbfounded by these rules that my parents set out for me. They seem so torturous and rigid! But I realized that if I was really serious about it, then it would call for me to take on these drastic measures which my parents set out for me.

"Ok. I agree to follow these rules.... sniff sniff..."

The subsequent weeks and months after I made this pact with my parents, life went on a roller coaster journey... but definitely for a good purpose. There were times when I was alone and home, and suddenly the phone would ring and my mum would be shouting from the other end of the phone line...

"What are you doing at home? Are you looking at those dirty websites???"

Since that defining confession moment to my parents, life has never been the same again.

Do you think I still struggle with watching internet pornography since that day?

Stay tuned for my final concluding episode ....... Read more on this article...

Many of you will know that I am a Manchester United fan when it comes to the English Premier League. Then why in the world am I writing about John Terry instead of dazzling Cristiano Ronaldo, legendary Ryan Giggs or giant goal-stopping Edwin Van Der Sar??

With all due respect to Manchester United, I would have to salute John Terry as an inspirational hero that I really look up to. For those of you whom have watched the European Champions League Finals and followed closely with the EPL the past few seasons, you would definitely agree with me that John Terry is without a shadow of a doubt, a man, captain and leader committed to his team through and through.

For once I really agree with what the ex-Chelsea manager always say, "The better team lost tonight." It was a cruel way to lose the finals having dominated the game. It was even more cruel that when the captain choose to take the responsibility of taking the final spotkick, which would have sealed the game, and yet he slipped and missed. The better team and man really didn't deserve this ending.

Look at the way this guy throws his body on the line game after game. Time and again despite being down with twisted ankles, dislocated shoulders and mutiple injuries, he refuses to give up and recovers in double quick time to lead and inspire his team again. Now that's what I call a true hero!

Many attention has been given onto the millions of dollars splashed on the transfer markets for new and young uprising superstars. But to me, no amount of money nor limelight can rob away the attention on this man....

John Terry - A man of Steel, A man of great heart, A True Inspirational Hero Read more on this article...

Definition of Bottom Line (from http://www.dictionary.com/):
1. The final result or statement.
2. The main or essential point.
3. The decisive point.

Everyone of us function with a bottom line in life. Whether is it towards people or matters of life. It has got something to do with how we are wired up in our minds towards a particular subject incident.

For example:

1. Even though all my friends smoke, play truant and copy during examinations, the bottom line is that I will never be like them.

2. The truth is that life really sucks. But the bottom line is that I will never eat worms nor give up!

3. Despite all the rumours flying around now saying that Peter is a gossip monger, the bottom line is that I still trust him.


In the first hit wave of crisis, do we immediately shatter and start doubting everything around us? Do we give up, turn doubtful easily whenever things don't go the way we expected it to? Do we not have that sense of resiliency to persevere through or work through to resolve the matter?

Down to the fundamental... What's Your Bottom Line? Read more on this article...

[Disclaimer: This post has been rated PG by the author. In any case if you are stumbled, responsibility will not be borne by the author]

... (Continued from previous post) ... I felt utterly digraceful about myself on this dirty little secret that finally one day I decided to put a foot down and told myself that I had to stop watching pornography, else it would destroy my future! The first thing that I did was to confess and share this struggle I had with...... MY PARENTS!!!

Yes, I know this must sound really stupid to confess to my parents, but I was really at my wits' end. Most of my friends were also sucked into pornography addiction, thus seeking help from them wasn't going to be of much help as well. (PS: We may just end up watching together!) I had come to a point where i felt so sick and tired of myself that I even contemplated the thought of castrating myself, hoping that it would end my hormones and testerone drive!

Enough was enough, I might as well face the music. If I was really serious about kicking this addiction, I really needed to take radical and extreme steps to intervene. Though it would be really shameful to confess to my parents, but there was no better way. Rather bear the expected brunt of scoldings and persecutions from my parents for the moment, than live in a lifetime of secrecy, darkness, guilt and shame.

Plucking up my courage on a Sunday morning, I gingerly approached my parents during breakfast....

EeJay: Mum and Dad, I have something to tell you both. I really need help in this area.

Dad: Uh-huh? *Sipping at his cup of coffee*

Mum: What is it? Studies? Not enough pocket money? *munching away at her strawberry jam-filled bread*

EeJay: Errrmmmm....... I have been watching pornographic websites for a long time and I just cannot stop. I really want to and I need help. Can you both help me?

*Coffee cups and breads laid down. Long silence and hard stares from my parents*

Mum & Dad blasting out together: WHAT?!?! Who taught you to be so dirty-minded? Since when did you learn to be such a pervert? You are so disgusting! These things are so bad and you still watch?! What's wrong with you?!?!?

EeJay (filled with shame and close to tears): But but but... I know it's wrong and I want to change. I need help.... sniff sniff...

Mum & Dad blasting back: SHUT UP!

Honestly, I couldn't really remember what they said after that because I was totally shattered at the way the reacted. It's understandable though. I felt really stupid.. thinking that I had made a brave and good decision by confessing, but it all turned out to be a nightmare! I wished I hadn't shared it with my parents. Me and my big mouth!

Since that day of confession, a cold war broke out between me and my parents. We never talked and I could sense the tinge of disgust and disappointment at home with my parents. And this hopeless situation lingered on for almost a month, until one day........ (to be continued).... Read more on this article...

Watched this movie with a couple of my youths yesterday. We had totally no idea of what this movie is about, neither did we have any expectations. We thought this show was a goner because 5 minutes before the show started, three of us were the ONLY people in the cinema! Gosh!

Quite a good movie with some learning point behind. I felt it was really inspirational for me, mixed together with some good brainless laughs too, espacially to ease away the Monday blues. Would recommend you guys to watch. However, do filter out some of the crude jokes. Speaks alot about life and one of my life principle which I always live by: Don't just talk the walk, but walk the talk!

Grab a few friends and catch this show quick! :) Read more on this article...

This question has been boggling my mind since the beginning of last year. It all began in my journey of mentoring youths when I began to be very disturbed at some weird or at times outraging behaviors that they display. And I asked myself this question, "How come these young people don't know how to 做人?"

Why is it that youths these days don't have a sense of puctuality? Nor even any sense of personal responsibility?

Emo-charged generation? What happened to the resilient attitude of human being? Youths today seemingly just love to eat-worms!

Have the youths of this generation lost their desire and aspiration for growth in their lives? Seems like they 没有上进心!!


Thus I have concluded that the youth generation of today is VERY VERY different from how it was 15 years ago when I was a youth. Thought they still go through the standard education track, but seems like the "product" that come out is utterly different!

In this new series of posts, I will be touching more on some of these controversial, outraging or perculiar behaviors, and my personal views on it.

Embark with me on this journey and share your views too!

The good, the bad and the ugly! Let's thrash it all out! :) Read more on this article...

An 8-minute long video, but definitely worth watching it.

Dexter Benjamin lost one of his leg while riding his bike and was homeless for a period of time. He bounced back from this adversary and is now a bicycle messenger in the city of New York. Now, that what heroes are made of! Heroes DO NOT wallow in defeat, but rises up with resilience and conquer their fear and challenges.

How about us? We may not be physically handicapped like Dexter Benjamin, but many of us are crippled or overwhelmed by problems in life. Is there anything so bad that we cannot bounce back from?

May the example of Dexter Benjamin encourage you today. :)

Source: http://bikehacks.com Read more on this article...

Britain's Got Talent winner Paul Potts has spent most of his life feeling 'insignificant'. Bullied at school for being 'different', he realised growing up that he had one true friend and that was his voice. Singing was his escape. He was able to lose himself in his own little world - the vicious words of his tormentors replaced by hauntingly beautiful lyrics and melodies that lifted his heart and spirit. It was a love, a passion, a lifeline that would follow Paul into adulthood and help him through many more periods of adversity. But it was also a gift that was destined to go largely undiscovered, due to a crushing lack of self-confidence that has dogged this hard working and humble man throughout his 36 years.

..... Although Paul has performed at amateur level, most notably with Bath Opera, his chronic lack of self esteem and fear of rejection always prevented him from trying to make it professionally. "As I saw it, if I never asked - never put myself out there - then I'd never get told "No",'says Paul. "It was safer that way."

So instead, he carried on with his day jobs - which have included stacking shelves in a supermarket and, most recently and famously, selling mobile phones, where he was told by one of his superiors that he was a 'natural salesman'. "But I knew I wasn't," says Paul. "When I was selling, I always felt like I was putting on an act. When I sang, that's when I felt I was myself - the real me."

In 2000, Paul used savings and a bit of money he'd won on a quiz show to attend a three-month summer school in Italy, where he learned the language and got to indulge his passion further. He even got to sing in a masterclass for his idol, Pavarotti. But he was about to be dealt a cruel blow.

In 2003, he suffered a burst appendix. While undergoing treatment for this, doctors discovered a benign tumour on his adrenal gland. It was successfully removed but while he was recovering, he was knocked off his bike and broke his collarbone. "Of all the health problems I'd been through, breaking my collar bone was the most painful and it took months to recover," says Paul. " I got very, very low and for once, singing was the last thing on my mind."

..... Though it's fair to say that when Paul strolled awkwardly - almost apologetically - onto the Cardiff stage for his first Britain’s Got Talent audition a week before that final, in his now infamous £35 Tesco suit, and announced to Simon and fellow judges Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan that he was going to sing opera, they never thought for one minute they were looking at their winner.

Until he opened his mouth and started to sing. It was, as Simon has said since, simply magical. "Incredible", agreed Piers. And Amanda, who was moved to tears, said his voice had left her covered in goosebumps. "We were not expecting that," admitted Simon.

"I was so nervous I was shaking like a jelly, but when I watch that audition back, i can see in my eyes that when I start to sing I go to a totally different place and the nerves just vanish," says Paul. "When I stopped singing, there were a few seconds when my heart was racing because I had absolutely no idea what the judges were going to say."

... "All of this is like a fairy tale and I'm terrified I'm going to wake up soon and find I've dreamt it all," says Paul. "The support I've had has been incredible and I feel so touched and humbled by it. It has done so much for my confidence and I really can't thank people enough for giving me the chance to realise my dream. To be given an opportunity like this is more than I ever could have hoped for. Finally, I am going to be doing what I've always felt I was put here to do - something I love and that gives me so much joy"

Reflection:
Just like Paul Potts, many of us get crushed in life because of the hurtful words others say to us, our own self condemnation or even because of external circumstances that are not within our control. But it takes true courage and a dogged determination to shake and wake ourselves up from these defeats of life and rise up to be resilient.

You and I may not have that opera-like voice like Paul Potts here. We don't need to...

The greatest gifting that we can ever develop is that never-give-up attitude in facing life issues!

Acknowledgement:
- Video taken from www.youtube.com
- Biography of Paul Potts from www.paulpottsuk.com Read more on this article...

Given any normal tyre, how would you be able to test it out if it were a good tyre or one that is punctured?

Well the honest answer is: Only when you put it to the test. When the tyre hits the road, you will know what is the condition of the tyre. A fully inflated and well conditioned tyre will help the car in navigating rough terrains and even at times preventing it from accidents. However, a punctured tyre can't do that. It can last a few kilometers, but after that it will be malfunction.

Parallel this theology with our own lives. Imagine this:

You and me = Tyres

Road conditions = Circumstances of life

When the tyre hits the road, we will know what we are made of. Some of us handle crisis in life better. Some of us can't take it well and choose to escape away like an ostrich, burying our heads in the ground waiting for the hurricane to blow by.(read post below regaring unhealthy communication patterns) And there are also others whom takes problems negatively and swing into depressions, self-mutilation (cutting ownself), or even contemplates suicide.

How then can we take precautions for ourselves so that we are able to handle situations better and not let the problems overwhelm us completely? The key is P.R.E.P.A.R.A.T.I.O.N

Prepare yourself by:

1. Being Positive - No one goes into a battle wanting to lose. When situations are bad or trying, do not make it worse by speaking negatively!

2. Training - Training for a marathon doesn't begin 2 weeks before the race, but at least a year before. Similarly, train your mind daily and remind yourself, "Regardless of what may come, I CHOOSE to stay positive!"

3. Maintanence - F1 racing tyres are regular renewed and sent for testing as part of maintenance to keep the car in tip top condition for the race. Maintain yourselves by taking time off regularly to rest and reflect. You can take strolls, write in your journals, or catch a movie. Reflection is important as it helps to iron out your thoughts.

4. Gear Up - You can be the best soccer player in the world, but if you are wearing slippers to play on the pitch against players wearing boots.. you will still lose! Gear yourself up by constantly sharing and surrounding yourself with like-minded and positive friends. Trust me, postivity can spark and spread like wild fire.

Well, truth of the matter is we will never know how we would react until crunch time hits us. But at least we can prepare outselves for things to come! :) Read more on this article...

(From 'Courtship 101' module by Adrian Ong)

1. HAWK - Total dominance. Refusal to listen to other party's thoughts and feelings. Just blazing the trail and doing whatever he/she thinks is right by his/her own instinct.

Implications: Danger of becoming a MCP. Ignorance of how other people feel. Tendency of views being rather self centred.

2. DOVE - Peace loving nature and in general always would want to avoid conflict. Whenever potential conflict arises, will always give in. Common statement spoken are "Oh, it's ok.. nevermind", "Yupz.. I am ok (but actually is not)" Always close one eye to everything. Sweeping everything under the carpet kind.

Implications: Danger of suppressing how one really feels. No true honesty in relationship. Little things not processed and shared will amount to big things. soon one day, the carpet cannot contain all the junks and one will just explode internally.

3. OWL - Always using the wise man approach. Typical amongst most guys. Whenever conflict arises, he/she will do his/her utmost best to argue their way through. Seemingly refuse to admit 'defeat' and wants to out talk the other person.

Implications: Danger of pride - refusal to admit mistake or say sorry even when in the wrong. Chinese saying - 死爱面子.

4. OSTRICH - When problems and conflicts arise, he/she just buries their heads in the ground and attempts to escape from everything.

Implication: Escapism is the key word here. Fear of confronting conflicts and issues. Just want to run away. Honestly, running away doesn't solve the issues, it just worsen it.

Pause...................................................

This DOES NOT just apply to BGR, but most definitely in our everyday human relationships with one another too. As I begin to reflect, I can identify which unhealthy pattern of communication which I need to be mindful of. And I can also identify some of these patterns in the people whom I work closely with too!

Like it or not, there is a tendency that our communication pattern is in either one of these catogaries.

The key here is to be mindful and don't let these unhealthy patterns inhibit us. :)

Stay tuned for 'Courtship 102' module next month - 5 Healthy Ways of Communication

PS: Post was editted @ 2:26pm after some valuable inputs from Cynthia. Read more on this article...

"Hey Eejay! When you getting a girlfriend??? Better start finding one soon ah! Else we will bring you to Malaysia and help you find a Malaysian girlfriend!"

These were the ringing words that Uncle Victor and godma Kelly would always say to me either via sms, email or whenever they pop by Singapore. And it never fails to just bring a smile and laughter to me... both of them are SERIOUSLY very concerned for my love life! haha...

I got to know Uncle Vic and godma Kelly back in year 2004 in church and I informally came under their mentorship by constantly shadowing them along, observing and learning from them. And we would always enjoy the time of fellowship best over a cup of teh-tarik. Trust me, I never liked teh-tarik or teh-C until I met both of them! haha... It was always over these teh tarik fellowship that we shared our hearts out... about mentoring youths, church matters, our families, about BGR.... basically everything under the sun! Our joke was always that we live in a 3G era, and our topics are also 3G - God, G12 Vision and Girls! hahahaha......

One of the most important principle that I caught from Uncle Vic and godma Kelly is the authenticity of their lives. They are who they are, genuine and transparent and never trying to hide anything from the people around. The greatest teaching and discipleship that I learnt from them was not from some great theories they formulated, but purely just by observing the way they lead their lives and how open they are to blessing the people around them.

Inspired by them, I also have teh-tarik fellowship with the youths that I mentor, and learn to open up my life to share boldly with them. Through Uncle Vic and godma Kelly, I have come to understand that for people to open up to you, You must first open up yourself to them. :)

Thank you Uncle Vic and godma Kelly for opening up your lives to me.... I am a live that was blessed and changed. Read more on this article...