Feb 22, 2007

Enough is enough... I choose to grow up!

Posted by Mr.Keropok

My friend immediately blurted out back at me... "EeJay... You are a COWARD! Why are you getting so depressed just because a girl rejected you? Come on! There's more to life than just about BGRs! Wake up your idea lah!!!!"

WOW! I was stunned by my friend's rebuke at me. I was still expecting some sympathy and concern from him upon hearing of my situation. Hoping that my friend would comfort and "sayang" me for the predicament I was in, all I got in return was a harsh scolding instead. I felt unjustified and anger brewing inside me. But the sour and wallowing-in-rejection feeling was too overwhelming in me and I just couldn't be bothered to answer back to my friend. And for the next 1 hour as we chatted, he practically lectured me about moving on from this rejection. Very little got into my head, but definitely a few key statement repeatedly struck me... "MOVE ON LAH!!"... "WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!!!" ... "THERE'S MORE TO LIFE!!"

That night as I laid in bed, I couldn't fall asleep once again. But this time round it was different. It wasn't because I kept thinking about how hurt and rejected I felt. But I was pondering over what my friend had just counselled me in the afternoon. True enough, the past few months of my life have been in a mess because of relationship issue and much of it has to boil down to my immaturity in handling my own emotions and letting my thoughts run wild. I came to a conculsion that night. I wasn't mature enough to enter a relationship yet. Even if I was in one, I wasn't capable of handling it. So for the time being, I am not going to think about going into any relationships, but rather take the time to understand myself better and grow in maturity.

I woke up the next morning with puffy eyes and dark eye rings from lack of sleep. But inside me I could feel a sense of relieve... somehow like a burden being lifted. I won't say that the negative feelings about myself disappeared immediately, but it was a gradual process which took me a few months.

Time may heal the wound, but it doesn't erase away the memories. What's important is to have valuable learning experience from the memories. =)



Next upcoming series: "Chronicles of the Hokkien-Peng: Oei! Why you so like that?!?!"

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