Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

If you have not read Part 1 of this amazing real life story, please click here

I seek solace and comfort in the things I was good in. The many nights of clubbing and house parties were what I was comfortable with. People like me. People like to talk to me. They too feel comfortable to relate to me because in that state, they see a happy go lucky guy who is pretty sorted with his thoughts. They see a guy who always smile regardless of what happens. They see a guy whom they can seek comfort in need of trouble. But they do not know that this guy was tormented by constant negative thoughts about everything. Bad news on the TV affects me, arguments with friends upsets me and even the situation in third world countries affects me. I thought that it was my duty to solve everyone’s problems. I was thinking too much into everything and the only way to solve all these is get the next fix and everything will be ok. Or so I thought. I felt that I was not alone, I felt that I had many friends but thing that no one knows is the extreme loneliness I felt because I just could not stop taking drugs.

I became everyone’s problem. I excommunicated my parents and my beloved sister. My friends excommunicated me because I was going overboard with my perpetual need to get more and more high. Even the drugged up ones. Perhaps they were just too uncomfortable with me with my constant pursuit of trying various drugs.

Till now, I don’t really know the reasons for all this. I am constantly in debt even though I was working. I kept borrowing money from my sister and my aunt to support my habit. Empty promises and phonecalls with fake niceties became my only contacts to my love ones. To say that they were utterly disappointed will be an understatement.

I became very much reserved after a while. I thought that my confidence and character was built around the drugs that I am taking. Without drugs, I am nothing. Without drugs, there would be no meaning. Without drugs, it is just – not worth living. I became my own worst nightmare and prisoner...a self made prisoner that is.

(to be continued.. Stay tuned for Part 3...)