Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

I really regretted my actions.... How I wish I could turn back time and do things differently... *sob sob*... But it wasn't possible. I felt totally like crap then.. sad that the relationship was over, that we were "not steady" anymore, and on the other hand utterly disgusted with myself for how I had caused things to turn out this way. There and then, I felt like digging a hole and hiding my face inside forever! =(

It took me a whole year to stop hating myself over this issue. The first three months after the breakup was tormentous. The breakup kept haunting my mind then, and I tried all ways to make myself stop thinking about it.. you name it, I probably would have tried it before. I tried hiding myself at home and wallow in my hatred-sadness concoction, but it didn't work as I got so bored at home. I tried to work long hours during my part time job so as to numb my emotions, but it didn't work as I almost got overexhausted. I wanted to try smoking to lighten my burden, but I didn't dare as I simply couldn't stand the smell even of second hand smoke.

As I look back now, this incident would go down as the most regretful moment of my life. Because of the hurts and emotional rollercoaster I had put the poor girl through.. all because I had let emotions overrun my brains and just wanted a companion when I wasn't ready or understood anything about commitment in a real relationship! Today, I am a youth worker and have counselled many youths in this area of relationships or "going steady". And 100% of the time, my response to them is that they SHOULD NOT go steady at such young age because of the lack of maturity in handling emotions and commitment. Some heeded my advice and are growing well in developing healthy friendships amongst one another. Other chose to go their own way, and almost all of them are going through what I went through last time.

I don't proclaim that I am an expert advisor in the area of relationship. But I do admit that in this area, I have walked a journey ahead of most of them and learnt my lessons. You may not trust my theories or tall talks... But trust my life experiences and invaluable lessons learnt. :)